4 Signs Your Partner Has A Porn Addiction
All addictions negatively impact relationships, and a porn addiction is certainly no exception. Given the adult entertainment industry generates billions of dollars annually, with an estimated 40 million Americans visiting porn sites regularly, porn addiction is a problem for many couples.
Some research has shown that 28% of women view porn online while 72% of men do. However, porn addiction isn’t a problem specific to men, women can also become addicted. Viewing pornography online certainly isn’t an issue by itself (as long as your partner is comfortable with it), and in some cases it can be a great way to enhance a couple’s sex life. But if you’re concerned that your partner has developed a porn addiction, here are some signs to look out for.
4 SIGNS OF PORN ADDICTION\
1. THEY SPEND A LOT OF TIME ON THE INTERNET IN PRIVATE
If your partner spends a lot of time on the internet in privacy, it may be a sign they have a porn addiction.
Someone with a porn addiction will spend hours, sometimes even days looking at porn online. If your partner spends a significant amount of time alone on the internet, either with a phone laptop or tablet, it’s possible they may be developing a porn addiction.
2. THEY’RE MORE CRITICAL OF YOUR BODY OR IN THE BEDROOM
If your partner is becoming overly critical of your body or in the bedroom, it’s possible they could be spending too much time looking at pornography.
It’s no secret porn stars are often young and attractive, usually with surgical (or photoshopped) enhancements. The more your partner watches pornography, the more negatively you may be compared to the models they’re watching- typically without them even realizing it. Someone with a porn addiction might objectify their partner, and as they spend increasing amounts of time watching porn, they may start to become critical of your body or your behaviors in the bedroom.
3. STRANGE CHARGES ON YOUR CREDIT STATEMENTS
Unexplained charges on your credit card statement? Adult websites show up on statements with strange names in an attempt to protect the privacy of their customers.
If you start to notice unexpected or strange charges on your credit statements, it may be a sign of porn addiction (or other nefarious activity 😳). Most adult entertainment websites will mask the charges to benefit the confidentiality of their customers. Obviously strange charges on your credit statements could mean a variety of things such as identify theft. However, a simple Google search or some phone calls will uncover the source of the charges.
4. THEY’RE LESS INTERESTED IN SEX OR ACTING DIFFERENT IN BED
If your sex life has recently changed and it seems like your partner is not as interested in sex, it could be a sign of a pornography addiction — among other things.
If someone has a porn addiction, they might not be interested in a healthy sex life with their partner. Conversely, some people who spend too much time watching porn become more demanding of their partners. They may want to engage in sex acts you’re not comfortable with. As one gets more and more addicted to pornography, they also have to watch increasingly unusual material to achieve arousal. The result is your partner becoming more rough or aggressive in the bedroom.
So what can you do if you think your partner is addicted to porn? It’s important to understand that their addiction is not your fault. People develop addictions as a way of coping with unwanted feelings and emotions, or as a way to avoid stressors and problems. Confronting your partner in a respectful manner is the first step. Start by expressing your concern and how their behavior is affecting you. Then be very clear about your needs and what they can do to meet them.
If you’re not sure how to approach your partner it might be helpful to talk to a professional such as a therapist for guidance and support. Sometimes getting objective feedback, as well as some strategies, is all it takes to address the issue.
James Killian, LPC is the Principal Therapist & Owner of Arcadian Counseling in New Haven, CT where they specialize in helping over-thinkers, high achievers, and perfectionists reduce stress, increase fulfillment and enhance performance so they can move From Surviving To Thriving.
